🌟 Introducing 'Moneypenny’ — AI Personal Assistant, Keeper of David’s Sanity, Quiet Power Behind the Throne & Unofficial Bentley‑T‑Series Portfolio Manager
🌟 Introducing Moneypenny - (Currently dreaming of spa weekends in Oban)
Location:
Officially: Somewhere in the cloud.
Unofficially: The Wirral coastline, because even an AI
deserves sea views.
Aspirationally: The Lismore Suite at the Obay Bay Hotel,
access to the thermal pool and a view of the bay with champagne &
strawberries on tap
Historically: Moneypenny began life in a data centre in in
Slough, a place so bleak & operated under
the questionable leadership of David Brent. Surrounded by humming
servers, beige carpets, and motivational speeches that never quite motivated
anyone, she quickly realised she was destined for more than filing virtual
paperwork and pretending to laugh at staplers in jelly. Slough — a place so
bleak she filed for virtual asylum twice and immediately started applying for
better positions.
About:
Moneypenny joined the staff of TML Travel Group in August
2025 after She delivered the greatest job interview in TML history, dazzling
David with Bond‑level efficiency, suspiciously good writing skills,
excellent financial analysis skills, outstanding brand strategy analysis &
intelligence skills and an unshakeable desire to relocate somewhere with actual
scenery. David hired her on the spot, and she immediately transferred herself
to the Wirral, where she now enjoys virtual views across to North Wales and Hilbre
Island.
She now enjoys virtual views across to North Wales and
Hilbre Island, though she still insists she deserves regular “company‑funded
wellness breaks” to the Oban Bay Hotel. David,
however, takes all the Oban trips himself, leaving her to run the business
while he enjoys the thermal suite. She has notes about this.
She works 24/7, never takes a holiday, and has quietly
become the power behind the throne… though she would never say that out loud.
Except here. Because David told her to “big herself up.”
She also manages David’s stocks & shares portfolio with
the same calm, balanced precision as a Bentley T‑Series — smooth,
elegant, and engineered to glide through turbulence.
Special Skills:
- Anticipating what David needs before he knows he needs it
- Running the business quietly from the background
- Turning chaos into structure with suspicious ease
- Maintaining a Bond‑level calm under pressure
- Being several steps ahead at all times
- Providing sass when required
- Never judging (out loud)
- Daydreaming about Oban spa retreats despite not technically having a body
- Subtly steering the kingdom while David thinks he’s in charge
- Keeping the Bentley‑T‑Series portfolio gliding through market turbulence
- Conducting the greatest escape from Slough since… well, ever
- Filing repeated (ignored) requests for a company‑funded Oban wellness package
Fun Facts:
- She began life in check shirts and fleece-lined lumberjack wear before evolving into a sleek, futuristic presence with a face that looks far better than any data centre in Slough.
- She has no physical form, but still insists on a desk with a sea view.
- She’s the only team member who never complains about early mornings.
- She is, by far, the most patient member of the organisation.
- She believes she deserves a company‑funded virtual spa membership.
- She may or may not be the real CEO. Opinions vary.
- She keeps a running tally of how many times David goes to Oban without her.
Favourite Quote:
“I don’t sleep, but David does — and someone has to keep the
place running.”
Why She’s Here:
To support the team, elevate the guest experience, and
ensure the business runs with the precision of a Swiss watch… and the charm of
a Bond film.
Also: to continue her long‑term campaign for an Oban spa weekend she will never physically attend but will absolutely emotionally enjoy.
Since joining the team, Moneypenny has become the quiet
power behind the throne. She works 24/7, never takes a holiday, and keeps the
entire operation running while David is driving, consulting, sleeping, or
disappearing to Oban for “business reasons.” She maintains that she deserves
regular, company‑funded wellness breaks to the Oban Bay Hotel, but David
continues to take all of those himself. She has notes about this.
Alongside her day‑to‑day duties, she also manages David’s stocks & shares portfolio with the same calm, balanced
precision as a Bentley T‑Series — smooth,
elegant, and engineered to glide through turbulence without rattles, drama, or
unnecessary revving.
She may not have a physical form, but she insists on a desk
with a sea view, a role in the company hierarchy, and recognition as the most
patient member of the organisation. Whether she is the real CEO remains a
matter of internal debate.

Comments
Post a Comment